webshite/applications submitted

Fri, 20 Oct 1995 02:18:11 -0700

Name:
A: Carl

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: If I wanted to be linked, I'd submit this form to Justin. Discretion, please.

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I have addictions, at times. Like Ho-hos. Or Cool Ranch Doritos. But, as we all know, the best way out is through. I indulge. I overindulge. And get over it.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: Expecting others to be as driven or perfectionistic as myself.

3 favorite authors
A: Donald Barthelme. I'll read Barthelme to you. He's good. I had hoped to study under him, but, unfortunately, he died in the late 80's, before I had finished my undergraduate degree. I like reading Lane Smith's books aloud, too. I read the newest Mr. Lunch to some folks at HotWired. Heinlein? No, but I've read him, if only the one book. The overwrought Christian imagery probably got to me - I felt cheated when I got done with the Narnia series in high school and discovered Aslan was - well, you know. Philip K. Dick is cool, though.

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: We desire the desire. Success is always elusive. The best we can hope for is some self-realization along with the self-alienation.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Andra's death. It's been difficult.

What is your favorite animal?
A: Grizelda.
Describe it.
A: Part Grizzly, part stuffed animal. Grizelda.

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: Long enough to send a letter, or a postcard. Cards and letters. They hold memories.
Jump her?
A: Mmmm...that could be nice. Kissing and sex are about all the same thing...touching. Touching can be nice.
Dump her?
A: Most everything has lasted a few years.

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 17
Had sex
A: 17
Smoked Pot?
A: 17

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: Acid.

When?
A: About once every six months or so. It's been a while.

Still?
A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married

Who worked?
A: Both of us.
Who cooked?
A: Both of us.
Who cleaned?
A: Both of us.

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: I haven't had time, lately. That's the big reason why I'm not a prime candidate to date anyone.

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: My morning routine consists of soap, shampoo, conditioner, gel, anti-persperant, and a benzoil peroxide product.

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I ended up in a mental institution for a while. But none of that was crazy. I ended up in jail, for a while, too.
as a college student?
A: Getting married. Victoria. Hmm. I usually don't think of those times, anymore.
as a working stiff?
A: I've overextended myself. I need to find time. But, I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: I like the ring of vegetable better.
If I were, what would I be?
A: Tell me.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Chatting? Or even other things...I'm not the particularly jealous type.

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: No

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: No

Why?
A: Sanity is judged on one's acceptance of a common reality. I suppose to be 'completely' insane one would need to be outside of language. Quite a few people thought I was insane to devote a year of my life to an obscure trading card set on Jacques Lacan. But I would do it again. It was worth it.

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: I really can't give a good answer to that.

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: Men.

...all men have?
A: Unchecked ambition.

...with our society?
A: Grand narratives. But there is nothing outside of ideology.

Which do you prefer:
A: Plants

Why?
A: I'm more distant from them, I suppose. It's too easy to personify animals, so it's difficult to understand animals as an

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: Oh, I won't. Please. Reminds me of The Book of Questions.

The second?
A:

The last?
A:

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Andra.

How do people describe you?
A: Ask them.

How do you describe yourself?
A: I'd rather hear how you described me.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes

Which?
A: In These Times. A Chicago biweekly. Leftist.

What are your favorite shoes?
A: The ones I was wearing tonight. I polish them, once in a while. I only own the one pair.

Additional Comments
A: Well, I don't think it's advisable to date anyone based upon the answers to a fill-in form. So, I played along, but it's a poor forum for flirting, if that's what I'm doing. What are you aiming to get out of this, anyway? I don't need to date anyway; when I finally make some time to spend with people, I might be able to use someone to go to the Exploratorium with. I hope I'll finally finish up some of my projects and have some time. I'll submit, but I know better.


go back