Sat Jan 20 13:23:17 1996
Name:
A: Mr. Jones
Email:
A: jones@voicenet.com
Home Page:
A: http://www.voicenet.com/~jones
Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: don't know what that means. Am paranoid though, so whatever a paranoid person would want.
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I am a very serious and quixotic food person. I eat all kinds of things and am not a vegitarian but don't eat much red meat and no veal. I feel morally about about my carnivorous nature, but I'm pretty morally bankrupt anyhow so I can live with it.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: What is you favorite snowflake?
3 favorite authors
A: 3 favorite snowflakes?
Nelson Algren
John Cheever
Miller/Hemingway/Celine/etc. They were all the same person. Little known fact with no factual basis
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: happiness
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Being mentally fucked up
What is your favorite animal?
A: Australian cattle dogs
Describe it.
A: cattle dogs from Australia
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: There is no usual. Between 15 minutes and never.
Jump her?
A: same as above
Dump her?
A: same as above
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: my grandmom, 3
Had sex
A: same as above. Just kidding. 17
Smoked Pot?
A: 14
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: narcotics, amphetamines, barbituates, human adrenal glands
When?
A: whenever
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: both or me
Who cooked?
A: both
Who cleaned?
A: not me
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: I cook everything brilliantly.
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: deoderant
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: went to High School
as a college student?
A: went to college (many times)
as a working stiff?
A: worked
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: I am a vegetable. I am me.
If I were, what would I be?
A: a durian
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: be happy that they were having a good time.
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A:
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Because I Am largely insane. Imagine it to be the same with more detail.
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: computers
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: men, each other and themselves.
...all men have?
A: women, each other and themselves.
...with our society?
A: Apathy, hopelesness, lack of vision, direction and acheivable positive goals, greed, lack of history and general cluelesness
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: Because.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: Secluded mountain cabin overlooking cliffs of Newfoundland.
The second?
A: Nifty boat for above
The last?
A: calaphon cookware
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Will Robinson (Lost In Space)
How do people describe you?
A: whacked. But funny.
How do you describe yourself?
A: whacked.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: Harpers
What are your favorite shoes?
A: "Carolina" climbers (with steel toe)
Additional Comments
A: Am actually happily girlfriended, but thought I'd respond to say hi. Hi.